Greetings! Welcome to the world of all things asbo slipz

uneasy listening

smile

really boring

life in the slow lane

the perils of being a supehero

you made me feel real

uneasy listening

smile

I watch you walking by, the colour of your

Eyes, they mesmerize and fascinate me

Somewhere in my head, I think of us in

Bed and wonder what it would be like to

Wake up next to you and fill you up with goo

So I decide to grasp that nettle

I offer you a drink, I ask you what you think

You tell me that I'm not your type well

You can't blame me for trying, we're all slowly

Dying, in this life

We're just here for a while all we can do is

Smile

Then I meet a girl, the centre of my

World, and soon we have a wedding party

So we settle down and push some babies out

Sat beneath a mountain of debt

Things are going great, but while I'm working late

She's got her mind on other matters

Until I see the truth, turns out that the

Devil will find work for idle hands to do

So goodbye, whateva, nothing lasts

Forever, in this life

We're just here for a while all you can do is

Smile

We all live and learn, experience is

Earned, sometimes it comes from bitter lessons

Analyse your faults, work out where you went

Wrong, and try not to repeat the same mis-

Takes, wake up and realise, got to try and do what's

Right, in this life

We're just here for a while all we can do is

Smile

You're just here for a while all you can do is

Smile

I'm just here for a while all I can do is

Smile

really boring

I'm watching you

It's really boring

There's nothing new

An empty shell

Oh God!

Not Wonderwall

Heard that before mate

Play one of yours

Or just fuck off, well it

Seems to me like

Certain people

Need attention

I won't mention

Names

Had enough of hearing Creep it

Puts me in a coma sleep

Playing to the crowd is easy

But it lacks integrity

Where is your imagination?

Don't you get bored as me?

Pick four chords and write some lyrics

Tell me what you've got to say

You've got the look

You've got the contacts

But then you're fucked

You got no songs

You're really really really really really fucking boring

I know it's hard

To play your own shit

When all they want is

Sweet Caroline, well it

Seems to me like

Certain people

Need attention

I won't mention

Names

Had enough of Teenage Dirtbag

Every fucker plays that stodge

I would rather stab my ears out

If it meant that I could dodge

Valerie and Mr Brightside,

Not to mention Four Non Blondes

Pick four chords and write some lyrics

Tell me what you've got to

Say

I'm watching you

It's really boring

There's nothing new

An empty shell, well it

Seems to me like

Certain people

Need attention

I won't mention

Names

You're really really really really really fucking boring

You've got the look

You've got the contacts

But then you're fucked

You got no songs, got no songs

life in the slow lane

I don't go to any crazy parties

I'm in bed before the clock hits 10pm

Then I sleep 8 hours and I

Do it all over again

I'm not built for the rock and roll lifestyle

I do drugs, yeah I'm hooked on ibu-

Profen and paracetamol, they keep me

Rolling rolling rolling

I don't mind, I don't want to be sedated

I walk the line that is less complicated

Don't wanna live with the permanently brain dead

When I wake up, I'm always in my own bed

I see posts from the people who are out and

About, I got no fear of missing

Out

Way to go, I'm living life in the slow lane

Sometimes I might go mad and push the boat out

Stay up 'til midnight, or even 1 o'clock

But it makes me tired and it takes me

Days to get my brain straight again

I love my bed it is my favourite place to

Be; nowhere else that is so warm and so cosy

I'm an addict, I'm addicted to sleep, I'm a

Narcoleptic son of a beach

I don't care, I don't want to see the sunrise

Don't understand how you can fight against your own eyes

Did it once and it nearly damn killed me

I'm happy lying in the dark beneath my duvet

I see posts from the people who are living the

Dream, but it looks like a nightmare to

Way to go, I'm living life in the slow lane

You might say that this is waving the white flag

Need to grab every hour and fight against

The dying of the light, but sometimes

Good things can happen in the night

I'm getting older, well it happens to us all, I finally

Hear the call that I'm not nineteen

Forever, I need to pull myself

Together not get down with the trumpets

It's not fair, but it's coded in my genome

The brakes are on, I'm starting with the slow down

I've got joints but they are arthritic

Instead of shots I'm drinking lots of Ovaltine

I don't mind, I don't want to be sedated

I walk the line that is less complicated

Don't wanna live with the permanently brain dead

When I wake up, I'm always in my own bed

I see posts from the people who are out and

About, I got no fear of missing

Out, oh no I'm living

Life in the slow lane

Fo sho I'm living

Life in the slow lane, yeah

flip the card

Take a deep dive way out into space

Join the hive mind and slot into place

Be original or just be like the rest

And don't worry, there isn't a test it's a matter of

Personal choice, you can do what the hell makes your

Voice, sing, don't worry about a thing

Take the high ground, don’t get your feet wet you can

Super abound if you're down with the threat or be

Risk averse, there are worse ways to live your life

Some go for safety first, some risk their necks, it's their

Personal choice, it's a matter of balance you

Weigh up the costs and you make your decision yeah

Place your bet, cut the deck, flip the card and see

What comes next

Place your bet, cut the deck, flip the card and see

What comes next

Take a deep breath, and pray for some luck you are

Going home rich or you're going home feeling like

Fate is so fickle, the cards stacked against you, could

Do with a miracle anytime soon it's your

Personal choice, if you don't take the risk then you'll

Never know whether you might have escaped from the

Prison you live in, the safety of certainty

Place your bet, cut the deck, flip the card and see

What comes next

cheesy feet honk

The sun is shining

You been wearing them trainers all day

You been walking many miles in the burning

Sun, and you know, you're gonna have

Honk honk, cheesy cheesy feet honk

Honk honk, cheesy cheesy feet honk (throw your

Trainers in the bin; they really fucking stink man)

Honk honk, cheesy cheesy feet honk

Honk honk, cheesy cheesy feet honk (Well your

Socks can burn in hell; they really fucking smell man)

Honk honk, cheesy cheesy feet honk

Honk honk, cheesy cheesy feet honk (Leave your

Trainers by the door; don't wanna smell them no more

They ming)

Honk honk, cheesy cheesy feet honk

Cheesy feet honk

bones

You're not alright, you're a walking disaster, you

Come into sight and I start moving faster

Because I don't want to be around

You (hoo-hoo)

Shit sticks to you, you're a faecal magnet

An albatross, you're a human cess pit

You see I don't want to be around

You (hoo-hoo)

You spend your time

Attracting flies

You make me retch, yeah you

Creep me out when I see you about

Yeah, yeah, you chill me to my

Bones

You're a disgrace, you're a bottom feeder

I see your face and I feel the need to

Evacuate, the contents of my stomach on the

Street (huhh, huhh) (hoo-hoo)

How can you live like this, it isn't normal

You got no pride you're a - a fucking gormless twat

And it's a fact, I don't want to be around

You (hoo-hoo)

You spend your time

Attracting flies

You make me retch, yeah you

Creep me out when I see you about

Yeah, yeah, you chill me to my

Bones

Shit sticks to you, you're a faecal magnet

An albatross, you're a human cess pit

And I don't want to be around

You (hoo-hoo)

You're a disgrace, you're a bottom feeder

I see your face and I feel the need to

Evacuate, the contents of my stomach on the

Street (huhh, huhh) (hoo-hoo)

You fucking ming, you're the

King of the dung heap, Lord of the Lost Sheep

You make me retch, yeah you

Creep me out when I see you about

You spend your time

Attracting flies

Yeah, yeah, you chill me to my

Bones

Yeah, yeah, you chill me to my

Bones

got the itch

There's something missing, something isn't quite right

I've got a feeling, eating me from inside out

Try to be good and focus on the straight line

But I keep hearing voices in my head that say

Yeah, why not? You only live once

Why not enjoy yourself? Fuck it!

Mind over matter, I just need to stay straight

It's not so easy, I can't seem to concentrate

So I fall when I

Hear you call to me

Wish I could fight it, wish that I was stronger but

You cannot run from what's inside your head you just

Have to go with the

Flow of this liquid, I self medicate to

Lubricate, my mental state

I know it's stupid, know that I should get a life

Just keep it coming, pop the cork another time

One for the road then two or three for luck I keep

Getting fucked up, but sometimes you have to

Lose yourself if you

Aim for redemption then first you must ask for

The trouble that comes from the bottom of a glass

Mind over matter, I just need to stay straight

It's not so easy, I can't seem to concentrate

Wish I could fight it, wish that I was stronger but

You cannot run from what's inside your head you just

Have to go with the

Flow of this liquid, I self medicate

Got the itch

I got it bad, you know I want it

Watch me twitch

Can't turn you down, I've got to have it

Got the itch

I got it bad, you know I want it

Watch me twitch

Can't turn you down, I've got to have it

the perils of being a supehero

Well there's a question mark at the back of my brain

I must confess it might be slightly insane, but I

Lie awake nights trying to find the solution, could be

High technology or even evolution

Here's the point, can you answer me this? What does

Spiderman do when he's busting for a gypsy's

Kiss, he is trapped in a skintight onesie

Far as I can see it's not designed for easy

Ingress and access, there's no way at all that he can

Grapple with his tackle when he feels the call someone

Help me please, 'cos I'm getting in a state, how does

Spiderman cope when he needs to micturate?

And so technology; assume that anything is possible, the

Fabric round his packet might be capable of letting all that

Stored up piss permeate to the outside -

But if it did his legs would stink like a

Urinal, so there must be another answer:

No superhero wants to smell like their pants are

The trousers of a tramp, like they are an alcoholic with a

Stain down the front while they're trying to save the planet

And evolution, let's talk about the accident that has

Altered his genetics with his spider sense, is it

Possible to posit there are other effects that have

Changed the way his body deals with effluents? Because

Spiders, they don't need to have a slash, it's all

Mixed up with the poop that comes out of their ass but this

Doesn't help me, still awake in my bed, what does

Spiderman do when he feels the turtle's head?

Well let's break this

Down, let me feel your

Fingers (mothafucka) let me feel your

Fingers (mothafucka)

Yeah

Well there's a question mark at the back of my brain

I must confess it might be slightly insane, but I

Lie awake nights trying to find the solution, could be

High technology or even evolution

So here's the point, can you answer me this? What does

Spiderman do when he's busting for a number

Two, he is trapped in a skintight onesie

As far as I can see it's not designed for easy

Ingress and access, there's no way at all he can

Open up a hatch, and empty out his bowels, someone

Help me please, if you can, if you're able, what does

Spiderman do when he needs to lay some cable?

you made me feel real

There's a

Pause that turns to silence, just the echo of your name as you

Move into the distance and I lose you in the rain, there's a

Cross upon the hillside that I visit now and then, and I

Think of all the things that I have seen and wish that I could tell you

All the little secrets, the business of the day, the

Drama and the mindless shit that passes by and fills the hours

Until I lift my eyes up from the bottom of this glass and

Lay me down, turn the light off hoping that tomorrow will bring

Something more than empty, something less than pain,

Respite from the longing just to hear your voice again

Something more than heartbreak something less than tears

Wishing for the flip side but I'm too scared to take that trip yet

You made me feel

Real

You made me feel

Real

Now I

Walk along familiar paths that we both used to tread

Talk to you inside my head and sometimes I could swear that I can

Hear you laughing at me, telling me that we're a

Long time dead, a long time dead, I'm a

Ghost but I'm alive, reliving scenes from times gone by and I am

Scared to think there's nothing on the other side, the other side, so

This is all there is, I keep your memory alive and I re-

Member all the good times, the good times

You made me, you made me

You made me…..

You made me, you made me

You made me…..

You made me feel

Real

You made me feel

Real

You made me feel

Real

You made me feel

Real

You made me feel

Real

You made me feel

Real

sweaty ball bag

The sun is shining

You been wearing them tighty whities all day

You been walking many miles in the burning

Sun, and now they're sticking to your legs, you got a

Ball bag, a sweaty sweaty ball bag

A ball bag, a sweaty sweaty ball bag (need to

Ventilate your plums, to take away the hum man)

A ball bag, a sweaty sweaty ball bag

A ball bag, a sweaty sweaty ball bag (could you

Go and take a shower? The smell is overpowering)

A ball bag, a sweaty sweaty ball bag

A ball bag, a sweaty sweaty ball bag (need to

Cool down your conkers, they're sending everybody bonkers

They stink like brie

A ball bag, a sweaty sweaty ball bag

Sweaty ball bag

make me clean again

Well it's getting

Dark here, in the barrio the days are

Closing in and the sun don't show and I'm

Low, so can you take me higher, I need your

Burning love to light my fire and

Desire, it's an animal thing, I like the

Way you look, yeah, you make-my-bell-ring

But it's more than that, I have another

Goal, you're the disinfectant to cleanse my

Soul, love, wash me down, make me

Shine, shine bright

Oh, love, take your time make me

Shine, shine bright

Give me the works, I don't care if it hurts, strip the

Layers off, yeah, remove all of the dirt and the

Pain

I think that you can help me

I know that you can make me

Clean again….........another

Day goes by, I'm not getting younger

Running out of time to feed this hunger

I'm all red meat and I like it rare

So come on baby, time to bare everything

I want to bathe in your beautiful gaze I want to

Taste your skin, want to feel myself

Inside your body, inside your mind

Turn you inside out and look upon your

Soul, love, wash me down, make me

Shine, shine bright

Oh, love, take your time make me

Shine, shine bright

Give me the works, I don't care if it hurts, strip the

Layers off, yeah, remove all of the dirt and the

Pain

I think that you can help me

I know that you can make me

Clean again

You can make me clean again

Can you make me clean again?

And

Desire, it's an animal thing, I like the

Way you look, yeah, you make-my-bell-ring

But it's more than that, I have another

Goal, you're the disinfectant to cleanse my

Soul, love, wash me down, make me

Shine, shine bright

Oh, love, take your time make me

Shine, shine bright

Give me the works, I don't care if it hurts, strip the

Layers off, yeah, remove all of the dirt and the

Pain

I think that you can help me

I know that you can make me

Clean again

Yeah, you can make me clean again

disco fool

Started out as a few drinks, down The Ship

Sun was shining, life was good and so we

Settled in for the session, bought some chips

Five pints in I'm, feeling good but oh god

What is happening? I don't know

My feet move to the beat and I am

Gone

Headed up to The Rene, for some more

The Immigration Officer is in the house

Chucking out all the bangers, old but gold

Sixties soul and reggae

What is happening? I don't know

My feet move to the beat and I am

Blind to everything, watch me spin now

Seems to me I am the greatest dancer in the

World

Through the fog I can hear that boom boom boom

Calling to me, it's my tune that's playing

Clear a space on the dancefloor, make some room

Time for me to throw some demon shapes and

What is happening? I don't know

My feet move to the beat and I am

Blind to everything, watch me spin now

Seems to me I am the greatest dancer in the

World, but I'm not

I'm just a Disco Fool

Ridicule or redemption? I'm not sure

How this plays out - so fast forward to the

End, I really hope that no one's taking video of this

This could be an awakening, truth or dare

Sing hallelujah, it's a eureka moment

What is happening? I'm lost in music now

My feet move to the beat and I am

Blind to everything, I'm lost in music now

My feet move to the beat and I'm the

Greatest dancer in the world, I'm lost in music now

My feet move to the beat and I am

Gone

creeping jesus

Meet Phil and Ben, just two men with their ready

Smiles, here to bring salvation

They knocked my door around ten, only opened

Up with the expectation that

There would be someone else on the other side

A man from the Amazon

But instead, and to my great surprise, I found

Emissaries: two men on a mission

Creeping Jesus, what makes you think I want to

Talk about God in the middle of the week?

And while I'm glad of your apparent concern for my

Mortal soul; you're gonna watch me

Burn, and

No, I don't want to know, how to fill the

Void in my life with the knowledge of Christ and

No, I don't feel the need, to get down on my

Knees and receive his blood or his body and

No, I do not believe, as far as I can

See, it's time for you to leave, just fuck off and

Die

Let's assume for the sake of this argument

That I require communion

Why the hell would I chose to align my-

Self with your crazy religion

Joseph Smith was a fantasist, he was

Run out of town for his weird beliefs, forty

Wives was okay, back in the day, but

Can't you see that you're part of a

Cult….and

No, I don't want to know, how to fill the

Void in my life with the knowledge of Christ and

No, I don't feel the need, to get down on my

Knees and receive his blood or his body and

No, I do not believe, as far as I can

See, it's time for you to leave, please fuck off and

Die

Creeping Jesus, and all of the Saints, well I've

Run out of patience with you today, could you

Please - just leave me alone with my

Mortal soul; and you can watch me

Burn, and

No, I don't want to know, how to fill the

Void in my life with the knowledge of Christ and

No, I don't give a shit, no not a little

Bit, so go and stick your pamphlets up your

Hole, I don't feel the need, to get down on my

Knees and receive his blood or his body and

No, I do not believe, as far as I can

See, it's time for you to leave, just fuck off and

Die

And so, it's time for you to go, just fuck off and

Die (if you don't mind, thanks awfully)

tiddy sweat

The sun is shining

You been wearing that god damn bra all day long, you been

Walking many miles in the burning sun and now that

Motherfunker is chafing like a bitch, you got

Tiddy sweat, it's wet beneath your hooters

Tiddy sweat, it's wet beneath your hooters (you need to

Release the beasts, let them out let them breathe

Tiddy sweat, it's wet beneath your top bollocks

Tiddy sweat, it's wet beneath your top bollocks (you need to

Let then sway, let them puppies out to play

Tiddy sweat, it's wet beneath your baps

Tiddy sweat, it's wet beneath your baps (you need to

Take off that bra, set them free. let them breathe in the

Sweet sweet air

Tiddy sweat, it's moist beneath your mammaries

Tiddy sweat, it's wet beneath your whapbangers

Tiddy sweat

miracle

There you go, to the

Dark place - I'll try to be your

Friend, but it's hard when you

Shut down and hide yourself

Away

Nothings changed, I'm still

Here for you, but you have got to

Reach out your hand, meet me

Half way, I'll do my best to

Teach you how to

Let go and face your deepest

Fears, release those

Demons that have held you back for

Years

I'm not

Saying that this is impossible, but we're

Gonna need a minor miracle, I'm not

Saying that this is impossible, but we're

Gonna need a minor miracle, so hope and

Pray

Nothings changed, I'm still

Here for you, but you have got to

Reach out your hand, meet me

Half way, I'll do my best to

Teach you how to

Let go and face your deepest

Fears, release those

Demons that have held you back for

Years, and one

Day you'll see that the weight has dropped a-

Way, and one

Day you'll see that the weight has dropped a-

Way, and one

Day you'll see that the weight has dropped a-

Way, dropped a-

Way, I'm not

Saying that this is impossible, but we're

Gonna need a minor miracle, I'm not

Saying that this is impossible, but we're

Gonna need a minor miracle, I'm not

Saying that this is impossible, but we're

Gonna need a minor miracle, I'm not

Saying that this is impossible, but we're

Gonna need a minor miracle, so hope and

Pray

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